How To Make Adversaries Your Allies

It’s not rare to find employees at loggerheads with each other over certain decisions. Of course there are going to be differences but if those differences are not handled well, the relationship too turns sour!

Before that happens, you need to embrace the idea that your adversaries could be of help to you and if you do accept this, you’ll be better prepared.

Here’s what you can do to make your adversary your ally:

• Start a dialogue: Welcome your colleague to a dialogue. Reiterate your points of differences and slowly move on to back your points with reason/intention. A dialogue shows your partner that you’re open to listen to him/her and this reduces tension considerably.
• Embrace your strengths and your weaknesses: If you go into the dialogue with the ‘I know it all’ attitude, you won’t go far. Your partner must feel comfortable and must believe that the dialogue will make a difference.
• What does the other party have to offer: Everyone has something to offer. Lend them your ears and approach their ideas without any preconceptions and you’ll see if there’s something you’re missing.
• Color code your relationships. Make a note of the people you have a not-so-good equation with by colour coding them with warm and cold tones, depending whether you like or dislike the person. Once you’ve identified the people, find out there’s a particular type of people you don’t get along with, something about their nature or work ethos. This is a good way to understand what you can do to include them better.
• Wear their shoes for a while: Put yourself in their shoes and then see if you see things differently. Perspectives are different for different reasons and your job is to  dig more and find out those reasons. Empathy is a virtue that keeps people together irrespective of differences
• Respond, don’t react: Reactions are often jerky, thoughtless and have bad consequences. Responses are more articulate, purposeful and backed with good intentions. When you’re in the heat of an argument, take some deep breaths, calm down before you say something you’ll regret.
• Show some appreciation: When you’ve successfully resolved your issues, express your gratitude towards your partners for making this dialogue fruitful and for their work. A ‘thank you’ goes a long way in building a strong professional relationship.